Most days the fact that Hannah was adopted doesn't really even enter my mind. She's just my daughter and taking care of her is a full time job that leaves me little time to think of anything else! However the past few days I have been thinking about adoption a lot because it's been brought to my attention several times recently. The other day at gymnastics was the first time in a long time someone has mentioned how big Hannah is and how small I am. Her teacher asked if Kyle was big and if that was where Hannah got her height from. I explained that we had adopted Hannah and that both her birthparents were quite tall and that was it. We didn't really get a chance to talk much about it since the kids really needed constant supervision on the equipment. About a week ago I got an email from a perspective adoptive couple that were checking out agencies and wanted to talk to us about our experiences. So, I sent her a short email with the cliff notes of our story and our phone number if they wanted to chat or ask questions. Then yesterday we got an email from our agency asking if Kyle and I would come in with Tiffany to talk to some waiting couples at a support group meeting they were having for couples who have been waiting. We felt honored that we were asked to come speak again, but wonder how much help we will be. For us, adoption has been very easy. Hannah has the greatest birthfamily ever and we feel so lucky to have such a close relationship with them. It's been easy, natural and just plain fun to have an open adoption with them. Not every couple that does an open adoption ends up with as close of a relationship with their birthfamily as we do though so we don't want to get all those waiting couples' hopes up. Then again, there are a lot of families that do have just as close of relationships with their children's birthfamilies as we do so I suppose it's good for the couples to hear both sides. I follow several blogs maintained by families who have either adopted through our agency or are waiting to adopt from our agency (sometimes both!) and it is always awesome to hear the stories of others just like us. In the beginning the blogs are almost always the same. They focus on the adoption, but then as I've watched these kids grow up over the internet the blogs have always followed the same pattern. They turn into blogs just about kids-not adopted kids, just kids who have lives just like every other kid. I think that's something that people who haven't been touched by adoption don't always understand. Adoption is a thing that happens and then it's done. Hannah isn't adopted, she WAS adopted and now it's done and she's just Hannah. Maybe that doesn't make sense to those outside of adoption, but I know all my fellow adoptive parents will understand exactly what I mean. Anyway, what I meant to say in the beginning is that its fun to see how all these other couples have journeyed through the same legal mumbo jumbo, heartaches, and joys as we have and now are able to just focus on being mommies and daddies and to be caught up in all the day to day joys of being a parent. The blogs also make me thankful for the relationship we have with Mike and Tiffany. Some of these couples aren't able to enjoy much contact with their birthparents either because of long distances or wishes of the birthparents so it makes me so grateful that Tiffany and Mike live close and that I can always call them up to chat whenever I want. Reading about visits with birthparents on these blogs always makes me smile because I know how great it is. Okay, enough of my rambling. If anyone is ever interested in reading about other people who have open adoptions just like us, check out the links on the side of my blog. I have several links for blogs of other couples from our agency and they are always a good read!
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3 comments:
Natalie-
You hit the nail right on the head! I always say that Benjamin WAS adopted, he isn't in a constant state of being adopted. It might seem like semantics to some folks but those of us that have been through it really understand the distinction. I often get asked if Benjamin's father is tall (given that he is such a tall boy and I am rather short.) I think I shock people with my bluntness when I say "Benjamin was adopted and his birthmother is very tall!" I guess that's not the answer they are expecting!
~ Cindy Huff
IAC Alum
Great post! It is funny how often I even have to correct myself sometime that Joshua WAS adopted because so many other people say he IS adopted it becomes a way of thinking that we have to 'work on' with society. Anyways, really nice post.
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