Kyle: I am sorry that my first post to Hannah's blog is in response to a family conflict, but I feel like it's time for me to end this debate. Having waited a few days since our initial post on the subject, I think I better understand the opinions of some of our family and friends. As such, I will try to use this post to address some of the questions we have received. Before I do, let me first say that our stance on this matter was not Natalie's decision alone to make, and that I consider the personal criticism of her completely unfounded, inappropriate, and extremely hurtful.
In terms of our stance on Hannah's birth family, it is this simple: we expect acceptance. Period.
This does not mean that they have to be invited to every family function. I agree that this would be asking too much. However, in regard to the event that touched this debate off, I strongly feel that uninviting them without our knowledge was unnecessarily brusk and hurtful, and this is what we are taking stance against, as it shows a genuine disrespect for them as people. Separately from their presence at family gatherings, Hannah's birth family is every bit as much a part of Hannah's life as any other family members. Consequently, we cannot allow anyone to behave negatively toward them, as it certainly does not show the values that we are working very hard to instill in Hannah. Although I do not understand why there is any discomfort in the first place in treating Hannah's birth family like any other part of the family, I am trying to accept this fact.
Please understand that we truly want Hannah to be able to spend the Holidays with her family members (all of them), but don't yet know how this can happen. For the time being, let me personally request that those of you who voiced concerns to us in this matter, especially those that were particularly critical of Natalie, contact Natalie and I directly to discuss your opinions so that this situation does not escalate any further.
Regards,
Kyle
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2 comments:
Kyle & Natalie,
My husband Thor and I were in the first IAC seminar with you and our son is just a few months younger than yours. I'm so proud of the stance that you have taken on this subject and the relationship you have with your daugthers birthfamily. She is truly lucky to have parents who care so much about her. Persevere!
You have made a decision as to what is best for your daughter. Part of being a good grandparent, parent, and even aunt or uncle is doing what is BEST for your child, grandchild etc. Acceptance of your daughter's birthfamily is tied to acceptance of your daughter. Keep teaching her to be proud of her adoption story and let those around you decide if their actions are something she can be proud of too. God is with you both and Happy Holidays!
The Schrocks
I still pray this works out for you and your family. I know this must be very hard on everyone. I hope to see some new Hannah achievements and pictures posted soon. I know that future little equestrian that I helped corrupt must have some new developments somewhere! Take care.
Kristie
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