Recent events have necessitated this post. Kyle and I regret that we must draw a line in the sand, but it is for Hannah's best interest that we have made this decision. There have been some among our family or friends that have expressed negative attitudes towards Hannah's birthfamily. They have been referred to as not her "real" family and believed to not have as much right to spend time with Hannah and the rest of her family as her "real" family does. They have been purposely excluded from family gatherings. Though we have tried our best to educate all of our family and friends about open adoption and about the importance of Hannah's relationship with her birthfamily, our efforts have failed with respect to some of our loved ones. We will no longer try to dance around this issue.
Therefore, it is in Hannah's best interest that we make this statement. Everyone who truly loves and cares about Hannah and wishes to be a part of her life WILL accept each and every member of her birthfamily. You may choose not to love them or even like them, but you WILL be an adult and accept them for the important role that they have in our family and be polite whenever they are present. You WILL NOT make any negative or otherwise snide or insinuating comments about them to us or in front of Hannah. We will no longer attend (or allow anyone to attend at our house) gatherings in which Tiffany and Mike and their families are not welcome, should they wish to come.
We regret that it has come to this, but Kyle and I have discussed this issue at length and prayed about it fervently and we know that it is the right decision for us and for Hannah . If anyone wishes to comment on our decision you may send us an email. We will not be discussing this issue any further on the telephone or allow any negative comments on this blog.
Natalie and Kyle
PS. For those wishing to learn more about relationships within open adoption, there is a separate post dealing with that immediately following this post.