Report Cards

Report cards came home last week and Hannah's academics were fine of course.  We found out she's reading middle of third grade level and is right on benchmark for end of first quarter 3rd grade math.  She's in first grade!  Her work habits/social skills section on her report card wasn't quite as rosy, but it was better than I expected.  The teacher listed that she needs to work on assuming responsibility, practicing self control, and respecting the rights and property of others.  She loves writing stories and is actually pretty good at writing a coherent story with a beginning, middle, and end.  They have not sent home an evaluation that lists where her written language skills are since most of her classmates are just focusing on getting a single complete sentence down on the page that is legible and uses basic writing conventions, but I would guess she is at least middle of second grade for it. 

After the biting incident we started a trial on medication.  At first we thought we were seeing some pretty severe side effects after the first day on the meds so we stopped them after one day and called the doctor the next business day to check in.  She confirmed what we had already thought about which was that the medication SHOULD have been out of her system by the time we experienced what we thought might be the side effect so it was probably something else and simply a coincidence that it happened on the same day we started up the med trial.  We tried the meds again that next day after talking to the doctor, and after 2 consecutive days on them we have seen no serious side effects and only a little bit of appetite suppression.  We have also not seen any real improvements that can be measured, but she is on the very smallest dose possible and not even up to the normal starting dose for this particular medication.  Apparently the doctor did not even expect any results at this stage, she was just ruling out negative side effects.  I'm guessing that if things stay the same, sometime next week they will up her dosage. 

  

Hannah's Halloween costume for the year is finally finished.  Ever since she's been old enough to choose her own costume she's asked for something that was difficult (or impossible) to just go out and buy, so for the last 3 years I've had to make her costumes.  I'm not a crafty lady and I can't operate a sewing machine on my own (even though I DO have one) so this is always a difficult task.  I have to create something with as many premade parts as possible that needs a minimum amount of hand sewing to get me by.  This year she wanted to be a grey wolf.  I thought I was off the hook because surely wolf costumes existed.  Well, they do, but only for toddlers or in the form of the Big Bad Wolf or werewolves for adults.  So, I was stuck with making her costume yet again.  At least this year I was able to cheat a bit because I managed to find a winter hat that was in the shape of a wolf's head to use as the head (in years past I've had to create a head on the hood of a hooded sweatshirt).  That only left me with finding the appropriate color sweatshirt and sweatpants, stretchy gloves, and tube socks.  The only thing I had to actually sew was the tail onto the sweatpants.  It was a one afternoon job to get it all done.  That was SO MUCH easier than her Bolt or Toothless costumes that I almost wept in relief.  It's not the best wolf costume to ever come around the pike, but she likes it and that's all that matters. 

October

 

Somehow September slipped right by me and now October is more than halfway over too!  Since I last wrote, Hannah graduated from daily visits to the Severe Behavior Clinic to every other week once a day for an hour.  That is much more doable although I still feel like we spend all of our time in the van!  First grade seems to be moving right along for Hannah.  Her teachers really have no complaints and she seems to be enjoying herself. 

Report cards come out tomorrow so it will be interesting to see what her social skills are marked like.  She did, however, have her first incident of aggression at school for the year.  A little boy in her class pinched her (we have yet to figure out the reason-did Hannah do something to him first or was he completely unprovoked) so she bit him-hard.  Of course this meant another office referral and it came at the absolute worst time as we were about to leave for a trip to Minnesota that very afternoon!  After all the lying and omitting of the truth we think we finally got to the bottom of things.

  Then yesterday I found out that the incident wasn't completely over because Hannah had neglected to return the signed office referral to her teacher.  Apparently she had thrown it in the trash.  It took quite awhile to wade through all the lies on that one too, but I think we eventually got there.  After the biting incident we finally decided to give medication a try to help her control her impulses.  We actually start that this weekend.  I'm quite nervous about it, but I at least know that it's easy to change our minds and the meds leave no lasting side effects after they are out of her system if they don't work or we don't like what they do.  Wish us luck as we embark on this latest leg of our journey.  Last month we did a brief respite foster care stint with a little 3 year old girl.  She and Hannah got on pretty well and I miss her now that she is gone, but BOY OH BOY was she a ball of energy.  That kid went nonstop from the time she woke up until the time she finally crashed at night.  The sad thing about her was that she was now our 5th placement we've had that had no idea  how to cuddle and had never been read to or sung to at bedtime.  Again and again I am amazed at how many of the basic "rights" of childhood these kids have never experienced.  :(  While the respite munchkin was here we also hosted a series of guests.  My dad came to visit and then my best friend Sarah and her family stopped by for a night too.  I am reminded again and again at what a blessing from God our house is that we can house extra children as well as guests and still have everyone be comfortable. 

Hannah decided last night to try out for a speaking role in our church's Christmas program.  I didn't get to watch the tryout, but Kyle said she did a great job and was one of the strongest readers he heard.  He also said she was one of the youngest so that may very well affect her chances at actually getting a part.  Still whatever happens, I'm proud that she tried and at least she'll be guaranteed a spot in the chorus despite her off key singing voice! 

Next month I am participating in the Open Adoption Bloggers Interview Project again.  Last year I interviewed a  birthmom named Kate and it was an awesome experience.  I can't wait to see who I get paired with this year.  There is still time to sign up if you are interested and blog at least occasionally about adoption.  Simply click on the button at the top of my page and it should take you to the registration page. 

Photo Notes:  The pictures are from a weekend trip we took in September to a local wildlife preserve.  I think Hannah enjoyed chasing the chickens in the petting area more than she enjoyed the wild animals!

P.S.  I hate the new blogger format and I cannot make my posts look like I want.  My text and pictures keep getting all jumbled up.  Until I figure it out, I apologize for the inconvenience of having to read the disjointed text.

Big Changes

Big changes have happened since I last wrote. We've headed back to school. Hannah got ANOTHER office referral at school. We finally got our evaluation date scheduled for the severe behavior clinic. We got Hannah's newest set of diagnoses (ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Aspergers is still waiting to be ruled out or in by the severe behavior clinic) We started a new behavior plan with the help of the current psychologist. Our foster care license finally cleared AND we got our first placement! That's A LOT to happen in 2 1/2 weeks!

Now that we've actually begun accepting foster care placements I can't really talk about our lives with those kids and how that relates to Hannah and our lives on this blog anymore since it's totally not private. I'm going to continue to write on here about day to day stuff and Hannah, but I will also start up an anonymous blog where I can chronicle our foster care journey. If you are at all interested in reading that blog please leave me your email address in a comment and I'll email you the address to the new blog since I don't want to post it on this blog and have the two connected and the wrong people find out who we are in the new blog.

Ok, back to Hannah. Hannah's new behavior plan is interesting. It's too soon now to tell if will do any good, but one thing is certain. . . . she DOES NOT like it. It is essentially a psuedo grounding of all privileges where a chore is given as a consequence that has to be completed before the grounding is lifted. Basically she chooses how long the grounding lasts by how quickly she decides to get the chore done. There's also a positive reinforcement piece to it as well where she earns small rewards (special time with mom or dad, tv time, computer time, etc) randomly for being obedient. Along with this new system (which the psych calls the Job Card System), we were also taught a safe hold to use when she becomes aggressive which has been happening more and more lately and had become increasingly difficult to manage because she is getting so big and so strong. I don't like the thought of having to use restraint in any form, but I have to admit the few times I've had to use it everyone has been a lot safer. We'll keep everyone posted as things continue along. I'm sure things will get even more rocky before they get smoother especially considering the big changes that have happened in the house.

Photo Notes: These pictures were from a Daddy-Daughter project that Kyle and Hannah are working on for her room. It's still not finished yet, but hopefully soon it'll be done and up on the wall. I'll be sure to post a picture of the finished product when they get it done.

The Honeymoon is Over

Well, the honeymoon is over for kindergarten. Hannah called another student stupid today and then grabbed her and held onto her so that she couldn't go tell the teacher. She did take her time-out quietly, but the aftermath here at home has not been so pretty. There have been persons in the past who questioned why Hannah needed an IEP when her intelligence and academic achievement are so far above normal. In fact the school district in RI refused to qualify (or even meet with us for that matter) her for one because they insisted that her social and behavioral challenges would not and did not affect her academic learning. The problem with that is that in many areas Hannah could go YEARS without making ANY progress academically and still not be considered behind or at risk. It was faulty thinking on their part, but anyway. . . . I'm so grateful that the school district here recognized that Hannah's social and behavioral challenges do indeed affect her academic learning and that she needs support to be successful. We were lucky to have gone into the school year with an IEP and had already had meetings to inform those who would be working with Hannah what to expect so that when her challenges did rear their ugly heads no one would be shocked and most importantly, Hannah would not be written off as simply a troublemaker. From talking to her teacher after this latest incident it's looking more and more like we'll be having an ADHD reeval sooner rather than later. I'm sure I'll learn more at conferences on Wednesday, but it sounds like regardless of how much she enjoys the task, her teacher is having to redirect her significantly more often than a typical kindergartner to begin and complete her work. It's just fortunate that at the moment Hannah is able to quickly and easily complete the tasks with little effort otherwise this would be a huge problem. If her work was actually challenging she'd be falling behind or at the very least struggling to keep up already.

Transistion

The move has been rough on Hannah. There has been a resurgence in old behaviors and an increase in current ones. Twice she's peed in her closet (why is it always the closet by the way) not because she had to go to the bathroom, but because she was mad at me. The hitting, kicking, biting, scratching, screaming, and shouting nasty words is at an all time high. The bigger she gets, the harder that is to manage. She is just so strong! She seems to be perpetually angry and has zero impulse control when her hair trigger is activated.

Shortly after we moved in I took her to the Omaha Zoo by myself. We used to go to the Rhode Island Zoo by ourselves all the time so I thought nothing of doing it. Well, this zoo is a lot bigger than our old zoo and requires much more walking. At one point Hannah's whining reached critical mass and she just freaked out. When I suggested we call it a day and come back another time that freak out turned into a full fledged meltdown. I ended up having to drag her close to 2 miles (most of it uphill) back to the van while she screamed, hit, kicked, scratched, and bit me. Let me tell you I got plenty of dirty looks that day. Only one kindly person offered me a smile and the encouraging words of, "It looks like someone is having a rough day," the entire way! I'm actually surprised no one called security thinking I was trying to kidnap her, she was putting up such a fuss. Even though it was a crisp spring day, I was drenched in sweat by the time we reached the van. The workout I received wrestling her back to the parking lot rivaled anything I ever did while on the P90X program! Try it if you dare. It's guaranteed to melt the pounds away!

She snuck out of the house during nap time and went visiting around the neighborhood. The scary part was that she even crossed the street and was on her way up to the next street when Kyle found her! Another scary part is that two of our neighbors that she chose to go visit actually saw and spoke with her, but neither of them called us to let her know she was off wandering. Seriously, who thinks it's ok for a 4 1/2 yr old to be off on her own running the streets?!? When I went looking for her I was in a panic after having searched the house and not been able to find her. At first I thought she was hiding in the house since she's prone to doing that. The new house is much bigger than the old one and it took me much longer to search thoroughly and that wasted precious time. Our property is also much larger and very wooded, as is the whole neighborhood so she could have also been hiding nearby outside and I not been able to immediately see her. I was on the verge of calling the police when Kyle came walking up the driveway with her. He found her at the very edge of our property on her way up to the next neighborhood! After that little episode we made the tough decision to put a lock back on her door. We were hoping that we wouldn't have to do that here. She's almost five and should be able to be trusted to stay in the house. We also live in a much quieter area and I thought even if she managed to get outside she'd be ok as long as she stayed on the property. That day she proved she wouldn't just stay on the property!

Back last year when Hannah had her latest psych eval, along with her Disruptive Behavior Disorder-NOS, Pediatric Bipolar and ADHD were listed as rule out disorders to watch because she had many warning signs of both, but the teacher evaluations did not match the home evaluations. Over the last 6 months or so we've seen a marked increase in impulsive behavior. In fact the girl barely has ANY impulse control at all (for good OR bad actions). She's never really been one to learn from her mistakes and the consequences we give for her choices never seem to make any difference in future choices so we are really starting to suspect that an ADHD diagnosis may be tacked on in the not so distant future. Her birth brother also has this diagnosis so it's not too big of a surprise and the more and more I learn about ADHD and it's characteristics, the things I thought disqualified Hannah from the diagnosis don't disqualify her at all. At the moment, all attempts at behavior modification are failing and I think it's beginning to affect her self esteem. I think she's starting to FEEL as if she is a bad girl. That is something I really DO NOT WANT. I know she is a good girl. She just can't seem to help herself sometimes. All this makes me wonder if an ADHD diagnosis comes if we should consider medication. I never thought I'd ever consider it for her for pretty much any reason, but I want her to be happy and right now she's just not. She can't control her actions and I imagine that is pretty frustrating. Have any of you ever considered/used any of the ADHD medications for your children? What factors went into your decision to try/not try them? What were your family's experiences with them?

On the positive side, Hannah's academics of course continue to accelerate. Lately she's been working on the phrasing aspect of her reading fluency and has made huge leaps! She reads with barely a thought about decoding and when she does mess up phrasing she notices and goes back and rereads the section until it sounds right. Addition and subtraction of the numbers less than 10 have pretty much become automatic for her. Counting change is also pretty much automatic. I think we are going to move up to paper money and larger amounts of change (several dollars worth of change) soon. She's cruising through a first grade math textbook with ease at the moment and we haven't really hit anything she hasn't mastered yet. Her vocabulary continues to increase and makes her sound much older than she is. Combine that with the fact that she just had her well child check up and she was in the 99.7th percentile for height and we've had multiple people suggesting that she must be in 2nd or 3rd grade lately! They are always astonished when Hannah informs them she hasn't quite turned 5 yet and she'll start kindergarten in the fall. Her fine motor coordination is also improving and her handwriting has improved drastically. Her coloring is much better too although she still hates to color. She's begun mostly using upper and lower case letters properly when she writes although she'd still rather write in all upper case. She still has several number reversals that we are working on (2, 7, 5, and 9), but the numbers themselves are formed correctly. They are just facing the wrong way! That's totally age appropriate so I'm not concerned in the least. Her spelling is getting much better and she's memorized how to spell many of the unusually spelled common sight words and is beginning to learn some of the more common spelling patterns beyond CvC and vCe. She's really into writing lists and stories at the moment and has begun writing her own chapter book. Now her idea of a chapter consists of only 2 sentences, but hey it's her book!

We've met 3 families in our neighborhood/town that have children around Hannah's age and have had play dates with them all so far. Two of those families have kids that will go to the same school as Hannah so that is a huge plus. AND one little girl (who unfortunately won't go to Hannah's school, but IS starting kindergarten next fall) lives basically next door. Our property extends quite a ways up the street we live on away from our house and all the way up to directly across from her house. We are hoping for lots of play dates with her this summer. One of the other families we mentioned invited us to attend the local festival with them and also invited Hannah to join their sons' team for a jr firefighters' water fight. It was AWESOME! Hannah had a blast. She watched the parade, climbed trees with the boys, and of course participated in the water fight. The actual competition is difficult to explain so I'll have to post pictures of it instead. After the kids' competition we watched the adult firefighters do their competition. Imagine what you see the kids doing in the picture being done with fully dressed firefighters and fire hoses! It was awesome to watch.

Photo Notes: The pictures are from painting Hannah's new room. The room was originally a dark forrest green. It was very pretty and well done, but hardly a little girl's room. Hannah also had been asking for a blue room for a year so we decided to give it a try. Kyle did a great job on it and Hannah even helped with the first coat of paint. The last picture is from the water fight. I'll post more pictures from that in my next post.