Adoption Interview

Adoption Bloggers Interview Project 2012

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Hannah has officially entered the "why" phase. She asks why after almost everything I say, questions, commands, and statements. It's about to drive me crazy. I was so close to saying, "Because I'm the mommy, that's why!" today. Today at lunch I ate my pasta in a bowl instead of on a plate and she asked me why I was using a bowl. I said because I just felt like a bowl today and she answered why. This cycle went on for several minutes. I thought I was going to scream by the time she finally gave it up.

Another thing that she's been doing lately is asking permission to do things that she doesn't need permission at all to do-multiple times in a row and from both Kyle and I. For example, here's a conversation that happened the other day, "Mommy, can I go get my baby doll?" "Yes, Hannah. You don't have to ask when you want to play with your doll. Just go get her." "Daddy, can I play with my baby doll?" "Yes, Hannah. Mommy already told you that you could." "Mommy, can I play with my baby." "YES!" "Okay." and then she trotted off down the hall to get her baby. I have no idea why this started. Usually she doesn't ask permission for anything and she still doesn't ask permission for the things that she really SHOULD be asking permission to do. Toddlers can be so weird sometimes. I say toddler, but she's two and a half. Is that still a toddler? When does a kid move into the "preschooler" category?

Today I took Hannah back to the children's museum and we had a great time. We stayed for 3 hours. She wanted to stay for longer, but we needed to go home for lunch and I knew she needed a nap too. She didn't really interact with any kids at all, but at least she began to get more comfortable with the museum. There were a few times when we had to go off into one of their book corners and read a book to regroup because she was starting to get overwhelmed, but I thought it was understandable since there were two different school groups there and the kids were big, rowdy, loud, and very pushy. I needed a break from them and I don't have a problem with crowds!

Poor Hannah is really missing her toys and other things from our house that are in storage right now. I think she's going into withdraw from not having her kitchen set and play food, her tools, and her barn and horses. She keeps asking me where they are. Today when I told her they were in storage she said, "Let's go get them!" She wasn't very happy when I said that we couldn't get them until we moved into our new house. She's also been asking a lot to go back to her old house. Earlier in the week she said, "I don't want to stay in the apartment anymore. I want to go back to my old house." It about broke my heart. It's hard to explain to a 2 year old about job security and why we can't just go back to our old house. She's a smart girl, but she's not THAT smart.

Hannah finally noticed the train station outside our apartment and started hearing the trains blow their whistles as they come into and leave the station. Every time she hears one she drops whatever she is doing, shouts TRAIN! and runs over to the window to watch. Yesterday we walked over to the train station to check it out. I thought we might actually be able to see the trains inside the station, but unfortunately you have to have a ticket to go downstairs to where the trains board and unboard. Hannah did get a kick out of the pigeons that were walking around inside the building, however. She really wanted to pet them, but since I'm afraid of birds I wouldn't let her get close to them.

PS. The first picture is the view out of our other apartment window!


Anonymous said...

Ohmigosh, the first two thirds of this post reminds me SO much of my own Little Man. Well, except for the baby doll bit. But the asking for permission? And the "why's"? And the enjoying of the museum and yet not really interacting with other kids? SO MUCH LIKE MY KIDDO!!!

pixiemama said...

The "why" stage is so overwhelming. And frustrating. And cute in retrospect. We moved to our current house when Foster was 2.5 - he really, really struggled - for much longer than I thought he would.

Hope Hannah feels more grounded soon - and I hope you get some occasional breaks from the questioning.

Christine said...

welcome to the why and being smart Hannah is probably just like Ethan in that he wants the "real" answer and full explanation of EVERYTHING.
I would guess the asking permission is a result of having to be stricter since the move and surgery and she is just checking beforehand.

Lora said...

It's so funny, last week I wrote a post on asking for permission to do things like that. "Can I drink this drink you made me, mama?" It's sweet, but indeed crazymaking!

Anonymous said...

When Clara was two we moved from a small house to a larger one. When the day of the move came closer, Clara got really anxious and she started pointed out houses she'd rather move to. One day she even pointed to the railway station and said she'd love to live there!!
In retrospect I can understand why she didn't like the new house: when we visited it before the move, it had no furniture, no toys, no garden yet... She had no idea what it meant to move house so how could she imagine ever feeling comfortable in this empty shell of a house.

Karine said...

That reminds me so much when my little man was Hannah's age.
He went through an extensive 'why' phase, asking 'why' after each answer to his previous 'why' question. That could last for a while.
My husband was very good at the 'why' game. He was very imaginative in his answers. And, one day, he found the key to stop the flow of unlimited 'why'. He replied to our little man 'because I love you'. No 'why' after that!
From then on, we tried to make sure our string of answers got to the truthful and magic 'I love you'.

Patty O. said...

My son has started this a bit, but mostly only when I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do. I have frequently said, "Because I said so." You have way more patience than I!

Quirky Mom said...

I think Apple was right about the same age when she hit the "Why?" stage with gusto. It hasn't stopped yet. Sometimes she just asks "why" when she doesn't have anything else to say. She asks a bazillion other questions, and she likes to ask the same questions multiple times. Today she asked me what time it was about 8 times in a row, and then yelled at me when I didn't change the time on the last answer. She's going to drive me insane!!!

Lanny said...

We moved into our current home when Linus was five. Nine months later, and she still talks about missing our old house. She is better about not completely hating this one now though.

I turn the why question around on Linus. I'll answer the first few questions, but when they start to push me over that edge, I'll ask her why she thinks _______ happened. I love the creative answers, though sometimes she beats me at my own game and says, "Mama, I asked YOU!"